Bdsm For Beginners: Techniques And Scenarios Dominatrix London

Tired of vanilla sex and want a thrill? We will tell you how to diversify sex using techniques from the world of BDSM. Attention, longread!

BDSM techniques can brighten sex, give you new sensations and strengthen your relationship with your partner. Where to start? We bring to your attention practical advice on how to bring elements of BDSM games into the intimate life of a couple. For help in preparing the material, we thank Lady Tabu – an informal mistress who practices intelligent domination.

BDSM theme: common myths

BDSM can be a lifestyle or even cited by a person as their sexual orientation, or it can be a practice that people do from time to time to diversify their intimate life and explore sexuality. Anyone can try BDSM if they wish! However, there are many myths on this topic in society. It seems to the common people that this is a perverse and shameful practice. We are in a hurry to debunk stereotypes.

BDSM is pain and anguish. Yes, painful games are common in the BDSM community, but newcomers don’t have to go headlong into this river. Moreover, BDSM and real violence are incompatible, the essence of BDSM relationships is their complete voluntariness.

The BDSM community is a closed club or sect. No, this is a group of people who are interested in the topic of BSDM. Nobody pulls in there, tied his hands with tight ropes, does not oblige him to go to events and worship the leader. In principle, it does not exist. BDSM people communicate on forums, cafes, clubs and parties. Anyone can get into this circle.

This is dangerous. People commit more dangerous acts deliberately: crossing the road at a red light, getting into a car with strangers, returning home through dark alleys. BDSM techniques are not intended to mutilate a partner. They are based on the principles of rationality and safety.

BDSM people are sick, victims of violence or trauma. No, these are ordinary average citizens. Psychologists do not consider BDSM games a pathology. However, in this environment there are people who have experienced violence, and those who cannot practice other forms of sex, which, from the point of view of sexologists, is compulsive behavior. Their number is no more and no less than in any other social group.

BDSM for Beginners: First Steps

If you are in a relationship and want to try BDSM, start by discussing this fantasy with your partner. Tell your lover about BDSM techniques and scenarios that you want to experience in bed. A glass of dry red will help you. This conversation can be a prelude to the first game.

Read more: 5 powerful ways to share your sex fantasies with your partner

Together choose one technique for the first BDSM session (see below). Take your time. If you increase the intensity of the sexual play gradually, the partner will not suffer. A scale of 1 to 10 is suitable for assessing sensations, where 1 is gentle and 10 is maximum. It’s like eating here – it’s better to finish and wish for more than kill your appetite forever. After sex, discuss what you liked and what else you can work on. 

Tanya Tabu says: “First of all, I recommend remembering the three main principles of BDSM: safety, voluntariness, rationality. Make sure your partner is mentally and physically ready to experiment. In case you are in the role of the “top” (dominant), carefully monitor the reaction of the “experimental” during the action. “